This list is from the award winning blog - Baghdad Burning - written by a female Iraqi citizen living there.

1. “Guess what?! There’s going to be electricity this summer!!!” (For better effect, it is suggested a candle be broken in half and thrown high into the air with a whoop.)

2. “Guess what?! The Americans have declared they will be gone by 2010 and they won’t leave permanent bases behind!!!” (This should be said with a straight face.)

3. “Guess what?! They didn’t actually find three corpses in the strip of trees two streets away!!!”

4. “Guess what?! The Puppets finally formed a government!!!”

5. “Guess what?! They didn’t actually detain [fill in with the name of a relative, friend- everyone knows someone in prison these days]!!!”

6. “Guess what?! Chalabi solved the gasoline crisis!!!”

7. “Guess what?! No more religious militias- they’ve been banned from the country!!!” (This should be said in a low voice - just in case)

8. “Great news!! The US is going to make public how the billions of dollars in Iraqi oil money AND donations were ’spent’!!!”

9. “Guess what?! They’re going to actually begin reconstructing the country and they estimate it will take 5 years!!!”

10. “Guess what?! They caught Zarqawi!!!” (This will only work on Iraqis who actually think he exists.)

To give you a better idea of the reality of life in Iraq, the following warning from the Ministry of Defense appeared on TV a couple of nights ago.

“The Ministry of Defense requests that civilians do not comply with the orders of the army or police on nightly patrols unless they are accompanied by coalition forces working in that area.”